I am super excited for my Dad because this year, he went back to school full time. He worked very hard and even had tutors for some of the tougher classes, but he made it through. His lowest grade was an A!!!
Major congrats to my Dad for proving that it is never too late to go back to school.
Today, I was scared for Spency's life. Spencer and I ran into the Co-Op to get some Quinoa (kinda like rice only better), and when I came out, he had eaten what was left of my pack of Orbit gum. I think there was only 6-8 pieces of gum left in the package, thank goodness. Still, I know that Xylitol can be so bad for dogs that it can kill him we went to Bright Eyes and Bushy Tails, the emergency vet in Iowa City. They gave Spencer a shot of apomoriphine and he was barfing it all out less than 30 seconds later. Added bonus, he also barfed out the Quinoa, which he scarfed down, unbeknown to me that he had also gotten into it when I ran into the vet for a second without him.
All in all, I think my little doggie is going to be alright. I was super scared last night, cause if the Xylitol got into his bloodstream, the vet said his blood sugar could drop dangerously low and he could pass out or go into a coma. Also, larger amounts of Xylitol can cause major liver damage. Some dogs have made it through and then had to be put down due to the delayed liver damage. Hopefully, there is no liver damage in Spencer. Poor pooch now gets sneaked a Pepcid in cheese to calm his tummy and I cooked him rice and hamburger. Lucky dog!
I am happy to have these last few weeks off so that I can find my focus and gain more clarity in my life. When you work too much, you focus on money because you have no time for the real finer things in life such as health, family, love, and learning. Since I have been out of work, every day has been a joy and a learning experience. I am finding out things about myself that I didn't know were there and I am a much stronger and happier person than I remember.
I have decided that my focus in the coming time is to change how I feel, rather than focus on how I look. I am learning how to feel good and believe it or not, this is not something that comes naturally to me. I will be turning 28 one week from today and the realization that I have been depressed for exactly half of my life is not a pleasant one. Yes, I have been depressed for at least 14 years! Fortunately, I had a moment of realization. I thought, "You know what, just because I have been depressed for half of my life doesn't mean that I have to be depressed the rest of my life." How very simple yet profound. Yet, if anyone were to tell me this exact statement, I would never have thought it true until I was ready to embrace it.
So here I am, starting a new job and having my 28th birthday exactly one week from today. I feel hopeful for new beginnings, and at a time when I expected to feel worst of all (AKA being unemployed), I have been able to turn things around for the better and get my life back on track. One can only hope that in a few months time I will be happy and feeling better. My anxieties and fears will be lifted and with that will hopefully come weight loss and better physical health. I know I can not continue life at the rate I had formerly been living.
I am quiting drinking soda and coffee, and instead drinking tea. If you catch me saying bitter or jealous things about others, smack me in the face, hard. I am exercising more and spending time outdoors, rather than logging time on the computer. And I am cooking my own food rather than eating out or snacking on junk food.
Tonite was a fantastic and relaxing end to a lovely weekend. I met up with friends for coffee and afterwards, we watched the infamous Betty White on SNL episode that had aired last night. Thank God for Hulu. Betty White is such an amazing 88 1/2 year old woman!
After this, I felt like trying out my culinary skills by making homemade potato chips and black bean dip. A big thanks to my lovely friend Devyani for the cooking expertise! The chips were made from thinly sliced red potatoes and were lightly covered with oil and flavored with salt, pepper, and rosemary. They were then baked at 350 degrees for a long time, but it was very worth it!
The dip turned out well too. I am pretty broke right now so I am cooking with canned goods that have been collecting dust in my cupboard for quite some time now. I took a can of black beans and added in some diced tomatoes, along with some sauted garlic and onion and then seasoned to taste. I am really starting to like cooking and as an added bonus, I will get to eat more healthy things as well.
While the cooking was taking place, Devyani and I watched my new favorite, the Midwest Teen Sex Show. Kudos to the amazing and talented crew who have put together this hilarious and informative show. Tonight, I learned all about Fetishes, Gym Class, the Penis, and Female Masturbation. A very interesting evening indeed!
In honor of my dear friend Michelle's Birthday, we went to the Mexican Restaurant Cactus for an evening of Margaritas, good food, and great friends. I love the big hats we got to wear, although they were very heavy. To make the night extra crazy, the staff at Cactus was sure to bring out lots of free shots of tequila. But no tequila for this lady! I get too crazy!
Yesterday, Devyani, Spencer the Dog, and I traveled to Independence, Iowa to have a photo shoot with the talented Miss Kristen Wieland. Her dad has the most amazing old cars and we were lucky enough to get to work with them for the evening shoot. Spencer ran wild with Betsey the Beagle and while I wasn't dog sitting, I got to peek in at the shoot. The photos turned out amazing and I can not wait for the Pin-Up Girl Calender Kristen is working on to get finished. It's gonna be hot!
Since I have had time to breathe in the last two weeks, my dog and I have spent so much time together. We take walks around the the neighborhood, go to the dog park, take nature hikes, and cruise around in the car together. I am so happy to spend time with my dog! Look at him, he is loving his life!
I have not been this happy in ages. I can't remember the last time I have been this happy. Everyday, I am living life to it's fullest. I get to see my friends, I get to have dinner with my family, I spend time with my dog, I go hiking, I cuddle my boyfriend, I bake goodies.... Life is good. I am very happy that I quit my job at Journey's. Working 6 days per week, never having a weekend off, and sometimes working 80 hour weeks really took a toll on who I was and my relationship with others.
It has been 2 weeks since I have quit now and I am 100% confident that I made the best choice. During these 2 weeks, I have had many interviews and have finally accepted a job offer. My new job will start on my 28th birthday, on May 17th. I will then be simply working 8:30-4:30 Monday - Friday. I will have free time to be happy, build friendships, and live again. I am so grateful for this. In the meantime, I have 2 more free weeks to figure out more things about my life and where I want to be.
I have realized that I have been depressed half of my life and that for as long as I can remember, I have been self-depreciating, jealous, and spiteful. But just because I have been miserable for most of my 28 years on this planet does not mean that I have to be miserable forever. People can change and I can be happy everyday, I can feel confident about myself, I can love who I am, and I can change and be a better person.